Here Without You
by Rainbow Haired Girl
Summary: Matt Hardy learns what he missed when his girlfriend dies. He has to make a choice. One-shot


**Here Without You**

**RainbowHairedWarriorsGirl**

Summary: Matt Hardy realizes what his life is like without his girlfriend.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or any song. I only own my character Johanna Armstrong.

Authoress Note: Picture of Johanna is the same from I Miss You. I also have a poll up for which character I should write in my next multi-chapter fanfic.

**Here Without You**

"Johanna get your ass back here!" Yelled Matt, as he chased down the red haired diva down the hallway of the SmackDown arena. "It isn't what it looked like!" He yelled.

Johanna looked back at him, tears streaming down her creamy soft colored skin. She thought her boyfriend of the past two years had cheated on her. She darted out the door and ran as fast as she could.

Matt chased after her out the door and saw her head towards the street. The next thing that he saw was her getting hit by a car because she had ran out in the middle of the road. He heard the impact from her body hitting the car and the thud of her hitting the pavement. Matt ran over to check on her. "Johanna…"Johanna's blue eyes looked up at Matt. "Please tell me… you didn't cheat on me." She said softly gasping for air.

"Johanna I would never cheat on you. I love you too much to do that to you." He said pulling her close to his body.

"I am sorry Matt…" She said gasping for air again. "I am sorry that I can't be there for you."

Tears steamed down Matt's face. He couldn't let Johanna go like this. Not like this. Not with her dying in his arms.

"Matt… I love you." she said softly as she closed her eyes. That would be the last time that she would look up at her boyfriend and it was also the last time that someone would see her alive.

_A hundred days have made me older_

_Since the last time that I saw your pretty face_

_A thousand lies have made me colder_

_And I don't think I can look at this the same_

_But all the miles that separate_

_Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

Matt stood at the cemetery where Johanna would be buried. He was there with his brother Jeff and Jeff's girlfriend Beth Britt. He was crying that day and he couldn't stop crying since the day that she died. He blamed himself for what happened to Johanna and now he was going to have to live his life without her. He held onto something that he kept close to his heart, but he never wore it. He held onto a cross necklace that she had gotten him for an anniversary gift a year ago.

Jeff put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "She would want you to move on Matt."

Beth put her hand on Jeff's shoulder.

Jeff looked over at his girlfriend.

"We should go." Beth said with a sad smile.

Jeff turned his attention to his brother. "Everything will get easier. I will see you later Matt."

Beth and Jeff left Matt to be at the cemetery alone.

Matt looked at Johanna's tombstone. She was too young in his terms. She was younger than Jeff by a year and it made his heart ace that she was only 29 years old when she died. It was all his fault that she died.

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

Vince McMahon looked at the broken down Hardy and shook his head. "Matt maybe you should just take some time off. I know it is going to be hard for you, but I want my number one ECW star to be back up on his feet and happy again. You need to focus. You can morn the death of your girlfriend. Give me a call when you are ready to return to the ring."

Matt left Mr. McMahon's office and ran a hand through his hair. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her and he had began to wear the cross around his neck that she had gotten him, but nothing made the pain go away.

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight it's only you and me, yeah_

Matt laid in his room. For the past two weeks since he had time off of the WWE to get over his girlfriend's death he wasn't able to get her out of his mind. He hadn't gotten out of the house. He just sat around his house and moped.

Friends had stopped by such as Shannon Moore, Gregory Helms, Amy Dumas, and his brother Jeff and his girlfriend Beth. They wanted Matt to get out of the house and have some fun and be able to get over Johanna not being with him any more.

_The miles just keep rollin'_

_As the people leave their way to say hello_

_I've heard this life is overrated_

_But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah_

Matt was out with Amy, Jeff, and Beth.

"You should move on Matt. Johanna wouldn't want to see you mope around like this." Amy said, looking at Matt with a concerned look on her face.

"What would you know." Matt snapped at her. "You hated her. In fact you still hate her." Said Matt bitterly.

Amy sighed. "I am trying to keep you from hurting yourself. Why does it matter if I liked Johanna or not. She wouldn't want you like this. She wouldn't want you to hurt yourself because she is dead."

Matt stood up and walked out on the three of them. He didn't want to be reminded that his girlfriend was dead. He didn't want to think she was dead. He put his hand on the cross and took a deep breath. He continued to walk towards his home.

_I'm here with out you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby _

_And I dream about you all of the time_

Matt looked at the photo of his girlfriend. He loved everything about her. He loved her beautiful red hair and blue eyes. She always had a spunky attitude that he loved and she always had a sense of adventure.

He could never forget when she took him around New York City one day and showed him what New York City was really about. She took him to the best places that she had been to and showed him a good time. She even showed him where she grew up in New York City. She didn't tell him about her father who still resided in New York City, but she was able to take him to the grave yard where her mother was buried.

He never understood why she took him there to her mother's grave, but then he knew that she needed him there for support and wanted him to know that her mother was dead since she didn't really want to tell him that she died when she was young.

He let out a sigh and took a sip of his beer and he continued to look at the photo. He didn't want to forget her or her beauty. He still loved her even though she was dead. He began to wonder what he should do. He wanted to be with her and only her. He couldn't see himself date anyone else, but her.

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight girl it's only you and me_

Matt was sitting outside of his home in North Carolina. It had been two months since the death of his girlfriend. He had been drinking for the past five weeks. He looked up at the sky. "Johanna I miss you." He whispered. Tears came from his eyes. "I want to be with you… I miss you so much. I don't want to live my life without you. You were everything to me."

_Everything I know and anywhere I go_

_It gets hard, but it won't take away my love_

_And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done_

_It gets hard, but it won't take away my love, whoa_

Matt couldn't help, but think about his life that he would have had with Johanna. He would have asked her to marry him two months ago before the accident. They would have gotten married. He could visualize the dress that Johanna would have worn to her wedding day. He could see her having his children and watching them grow up with her. He missed her a lot. He wanted to be with her. He wanted her alive, but he knew that wasn't true. He missed her a lot. He wanted to be with her even if it was suicide for him.

Tears came to his eyes. He felt like his heart was broken. He threw the beer bottle against his house. He wiped his tears away. "Why did you have to go? I haven't been wrestling since you have died. I have nothing to live for Johanna. You were my life." He whispered as he looked up at the sky.

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

After three months of just drinking himself shitless. He made his choice. He didn't care if he was leaving family behind. He wanted to be with her. He was tired of living with out her in his life and he got tired of how things were. He had a pistol that had his name written on it and he was going to do something that he should have done a while ago after she died. He should have thought about it sooner, but he wanted to be there to see his brother win the WWE championship back from Edge and everything was going fine for his brother. He just wanted everyone to know that he was going to be finally at peace with himself. He had left a note for his family and friends to tell them that he was going to be happy again when he saw Johanna. He brought the gun to his head and took a deep breath. He pulled the trigger and fell to the floor dead.

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight girl it's onl_y _you and me, yeah oh yeah oh_

"Matthew Moore Hardy. Why did you do that?" Said a female voice that he knew all too well.

Matt turned around and saw Johanna dressed in a white gown. "Johanna…" She was just like he had remembered her. Beautiful red hair, blue eyes, and a smile to die for.

"Yeah. I am glad you remembered me Matt." She said with a smile. "Why did you put yourself through hell."

"I love you too much to let you go." He said pulling her close to him.

**That is the end of this fanfic. Please tell me what you think of it.**


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